Of Rage and Failure, and Healing

I recently met with a couple I had married some years ago. They came to me to ask that I dissolve their Holy Union.

I am generally reluctant to do this, but usually the couple knows when it is time to call it quits. They had done so quite a while ago, and their request to me was part of a strategy to find the closure that has eluded them so far.

After being with them a short time, I knew I had to sign the document. But I was sad, because so much was unresolved between them. I wanted to help them process their hurt and anger, but the amount of it defied my poor powers.

Every time, both parties share responsibility for a break-up. But in this instance, it does seem one of them bears more responsibility. And the other one is so bitter.

When we were done, and they had left, my office fairly reeked of the hot heat of rage and the sick smell of failure. I am still feeling it.

I write of this today, not to bring others down, but to ask for prayers for them, and for me (did I do the right thing in blessing their marriage in the first place, could I have done more to help?).

God, please help them, and me–indeed all of us who feel pain–to heal.

Published by

Robin Hawley Gorsline

Robin is a poet (claiming this later in life) and Queer Theologian--reflecting a soul of hope and faith and joy and justice/shalom. He is happily married to Dr. Jonathan Lebolt (20 years and counting), the proud parent of three glorious daughters (and grateful to two wonderful sons-in- law and a new one soon!), and the very proud "Papa" to Juna (6) and Annie (3).

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